


“I’d be his, if he asked,”

by Hamilzander_Alexton



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Autistic Regulus Black, Background Wolfstar, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, James is a bit obnoxious, M/M, Reggie is stressed, Sirius Black is a Good Sibling, but we love him any way, he needs it, please give this boy a hug
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-04
Updated: 2020-12-04
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:40:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,373
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27877741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hamilzander_Alexton/pseuds/Hamilzander_Alexton
Summary: Regulus struggles with the expectations placed upon him and a budding crush on a certain blood traitor.James just wants to snog the prettier black brother.
Relationships: Regulus Black/James Potter
Comments: 3
Kudos: 99





	1. Chapter 1

He tried, he tried so hard to be everything they wanted of him. His parents wanted a suitable heir. A good boy who listened when needed to and disappeared otherwise. A strong leader who obeyed them without question. A walking oxymoron. Regulus tried his best to conform to the wishes of his parents. Every bit the quiet and reserved boy they wish Sirius could have been. Scholarly and quick-witted, with dry humour and perfected manners. But not a leader. He was no natural-born leader like Sirius was. Regulus avoided conflict, deferring to the whims of others in the hope of avoiding an argument. He kept his head down and did what was asked of him.

So why was James Potter on his mind ceaselessly? Why was that filthy blood traitor the one he thought of when it was only him alone in his bed? Was is some bout of magic? A curse against his parents to ensure they only had disappointments as sons? Or a love potion slipped into his food as a cruel prank? He didn’t know. And quite honestly, he didn’t want to know. Regulus just wanted it to stop. He would give the world for the smallest reprieve. 

\----

James stared at a fifth year Slytherin from across the great hall, chin resting in his palm and glasses pushed askew. As much as he tried, he couldn’t tear his eyes from the Black heir, so regal and captivating even in such a mundane setting.

“Prongs?”

“Prongs!”

“- not paying attention to me, Moony!” Sirius huffed, faking a pout.

“He’s thinking about Evans, Pads. Leave the poor sod alone,” Remus remarked, the smallest amused smirk playing on his lips. That only made Sirius’s pout worse. “I’m more important than his unrequited crush on Lily.” The teen grumbled.

James flushed scarlet, “I’m not thinking about Lily!”

“Sure, you aren’t.”

“I’m not!” James argued.

“Then who are you mooning over, Prongs?” Sirius asked, teasing.

James’s eyes darted over to the Slytherin table for just a fraction of a second, but it was more than enough for Sirius to notice.

Sirius’s answering grin was merciless. “A snake? I never thought I’d see the day. Go on, then! Spill!”

James merely sighed, shaking his head. “M’not mooning over a damn Slytherin.” he huffed. 

“Yes you are,” Remus chimed in, “I saw you scribbling G + S on your parchment in Charms.”

“Gee, thanks Moony,” James said, scowling at the other.

“No problem, Mate.” 

“Is it Malfoy?” Sirius guessed.

“What?! Absolutely bloody not!”

“Rosier then? Or Crabbe? Goyle? Parkinson? Zabini?”

“Merlin’s beard, Pads, will you button it?!”

Sirius snickered in reply.

“You know as well as I do that he won’t shut up until you tell him,” Remus said, sipping at his tea soon after as if this was a casual conversation and not James pining after Sirius’s baby brother.

“I wouldn’t be being interrogated right now if you had kept your bloody mouth shut, Moony.”

Remus just shrugged and James knew he was absolutely eating this up.

The messy-haired boy just groaned, wishing they just drop the topic already. Soon enough,

Sirius busied himself with a different topic, but James knew that this wouldn’t be the end of it. Far from it.

James looked back to Regulus who was busy with some book on what looked to be herbology. He couldn’t quite tell from this distance. James had never wanted to be a Slytherin more if only so he could sit at the same table as the youngest member of the noble and most ancient house of Black.


	2. Chapter 2

Regulus stared down at the potion he was brewing, the bubbling pink liquid seeming to glare up at him. 

Slughorn came up behind him, putting a hand on his pupil’s shoulder as he looked down at the boy’s cauldron. “Marvellous job, Regulus. Honestly.” He said, beaming at the boy. 

Regulus tensed momentarily, shrugging the offending hand from his shoulder. “Thank you, professor,” He muttered through pursed lips. 

“You should be quite proud of yourself, Mr. Black. Amortentia is notoriously difficult to brew. Only you and Ms. Evans have managed a successful potion thus far.” Slughorn praised. The professor eyed him, “Will you be attending my supper tonight?”

“If you’d like, I planned on studying,” Regulus answered after a moment. “I’m not big on parties, Professor.” An outright refusal would have been beyond rude, and Regulus was nothing if not mannered. It simply wouldn’t do to disgrace himself in such a way.   
  
“I’d much prefer to see you there, my boy. You study far too much for a boy your age. You really ought to get yourself more hobbies.” 

Regulus refrained from letting him know that he _had_ to study. That he wasn’t as magically inclined as Sirius was. That he would be in unbelievable trouble should his grade suffered from his lack of studying and involvement in extracurriculars. Instead, Regulus forced a politician’s smile and nodded. “I’ve been considering joining the duelling club,” He said, not a complete lie. 

Bella had been urging him to join up ever since she had caught Rosier trying to make an easy target out of him. But that didn’t mean he’d actually join. Regulus was a skilled duelist, he had been taught to duel ever since he was young, when his parents realised that he didn’t come off as the strongest lad. Just because Regulus preferred not to get into conflicts, didn’t mean that he wasn’t skilled enough to defend himself, he hated that everyone thought he was weaker than he was. 

“Good. Good. It’d do you well,” Slughorn said. And with that he was off, checking on the progress of his other students.

\--

Regulus was left to stare down at his boiling potion. He leaned over the cauldron, his curiosity getting the better of him. Cautiously, he inhaled, smelling the contents of the cauldron. He felt the tight scowl on his lips fall lax as he took another deep inhale. 

The peace of the moment was shattered by the raucous laughter of his brother and his friend Potter. Regulus closed his eyes, sighing heavily. Must they be so bloody loud? Obviously, they must. Surely a single bout of silence would kill them with the way they carried on. Regulus vaguely wondered what Mother would have to say to her son acting so uncouth in such a public place.

Though, he supposed that Sirius wasn’t much her son anymore, not after running off like that. Regulus couldn’t exactly blame him. Hell, he might have even gone with him if Sirius had asked him to. That house was stifling. Suffocating. And Sirius hadn’t asked him to come. No, Sirius had left him there. Had abandoned him. And now he was stuck, After all, if he had left with Sirius, the Potters might have opened their doors to him as well. But Regulus didn’t have any friends like James. The closest thing he had to that was Barty jr, and his father would have delivered him home instantly. 

Perhaps Regulus shouldn’t have been so bitter about it. Sirius looked so much healthier now, after all. And happier as well. Regulus should have been overjoyed to see his older brother flourishing. He knew that. But he wasn’t. As selfish as it was, he wanted his brother back. That ship had sailed ages ago, however. His face had been burnt from the tapestry for months now.   
  
Regulus risked a glance at his brother and Potter, feeling his cheeks heat up when he saw James trying to stick half of an asherwinder eggshell to the tip of his nose. It was messy and childish, and oh-so James-like. The dazzling grin on the boy’s face did nothing to help the darkening flush on the pale boy’s cheeks. The teen looked away, covering the bottom half of his face with his hand as he rested his chin in the palm of his hand. His free hand twisting into his hair, nimble fingers pulling at a single dark strand. He busied himself with the thoughts of the rest of his day. Herbology next, then transfiguration after that, studying by the black lake, quidditch practice, then ending the night with Slughorn’s party. A busy day for sure, but not necessarily a horrid one.

**Author's Note:**

> Just me venting through a comfort character once again. Nothing to see here.


End file.
